Directed by: Brad Radby
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Zac Efron, Megan Fox, Matthew McConaughey, Joan Allen, Dennis Quaid
Critics Average: 1.5/5 Stars
Box Office (US): $77M
BRAD RADBY’S SYNOPSIS
At the start of the movie, Shia LaBeouf is on the Arts and Crafts Team, and they win the trophy every year. When the school says there isn’t enough glue for the Championship match, Shia needs to think of a way to get money.
That’s when his friend from the wrong side of the tracks, who is Zac Efron, gives Shia a ride in his hot new car, and Shia can’t figure out Zac’s tricky talk about where he got it.
Shia is a good boy and says, “No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!” when Zac pretends he’s going to drive off a cliff. They’re listening to hard rock music about breaking rules, and Zac takes Shia to see his boss, who is Matthew McConaughey. He is being slick and has lots of money and gadgets that excite Shia.
A girl in a tight tank top, who is Megan Fox, is using a hologram remote control to do everything she does. She is sexy for Shia to look at, and winks at him after she uses the remote to do something exciting. When she winks she makes a clicking sound with her mouth.
Zac plays soccer.
Matthew shows Shia his investing company he runs using hotshot teens, and lets Shia try. He makes $10,000, and Megan winks at him again, but this time doesn’t make the clicking sound. Matthew throws him the keys to his Ferrari and winks at him, and he does make the clicking sound.
When Shia gets home, his parents, who are Dennis Quaid and Joan Allen, wonder why he has a hot car that says “EZY VEST’N” on the license plate. Also, rubbers fall out of his pocket, and Shia says, “No-no-no-no-no-no!” when he gets grounded. Joan and Dennis get in bed and wonder if Shia has AIDS.
In the morning, Shia has sleepy eyes, and Matthew is telling him to get dressed. As they leave, Dennis and Joan look at each other as they’re about to drink coffee, and Dennis is like, “What in the…?” and Shia does the wink-and-click at him. Matthew calls Joan “princess” and gives her a pipe.
Matthew and Shia meet up with Zac and Megan, and they do all kinds of hotshot investing, and before he leaves, Megan gives him a prize for doing good work, and the prize is going all the way with her. At first he is like, “No-no-no-no-no-no-no!” but then she takes off her shirt, and there’s the meme.
When he gets home from not being a virgin anymore, Shia sees Dennis and Joan crying. They tell him that a hotshot investing teen called them, and now all their money is not where it was before. Shia puts two and two together, and it’s four. As he drives away, Shia’s saying, “No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!” and hitting the steering wheel with his hands.
He meets up with Matthew and Zac and Megan at their bikini popsicle party, and there’s a fist-fight, because Matthew doesn’t have his shirt on. Megan sees how much sadness Shia has, and they plan some teen investing tricks to play on Matthew.
They do it, and Shia says sorry to his parents and gives them a cashier’s check and Matthew’s Ferrari. Shia goes and wins the Arts and Crafts Championship, and he and Megan exchange a wink-and-click, because there’s a cash prize, and they have an inside joke about how they already learned that lesson.
BRAD RADBY’S PRODUCTION NOTES
1) If you look in the background of the party you can see Disneyland Mustang and he’s holding Malcolm Radby-Spacey, and that is the baby me and Kevin got for our gay publicity marriage.
2) The cashier’s check is signed by Xemi the Volcano God, and that’s my wink-and-click to my friends at church. LOL!!!
3) I told Dennis and Joan to be like my parents because they were always like trying to drink coffee and then they would be all surprised when I was leaving the house, and so that’s in the movie.
4) Also that’s why Dennis says, “How, paleface,” to Matthew in that one scene.
5) Matthew brought doobies one day, so I called Will and asked if he would come over and take me bench-pressing, and that was a close call for sure!
(Click and there's a whole cover?)
