Directed by: Brad Radby
Starring: Christian Bale, Shia LaBeouf, Bruce Willis, Rosario Dawson, Megan Fox
Critics Average: 0/5 Stars
Box Office (US): $2.6M
BRAD RADBY’S SYNOPSIS
At the start of the movie, everything is backwards, and this time Bruce Willis is the prisoner, and Christian Bale and Shia LaBeouf are both wardens. This is because between the two movies, Christian went back to the prison and made this happen, and now he is bad, because he has an angry brain problem from all the weightlifting towels that hit him in the first movie.
Then it’s the credits, which is a scary cartoon, with cartoon lights moving around and flashing on a cartoon Christian, and that’s giving him more angry problems, and the biggest light is a real light, but the light that comes out of it is a cartoon. Shia is in this, and he’s real, but he has cartoon devil wings. The words in the credits are real, and they’re made of rocks, that the car-toon prisoners are chopping at with their fists.
After that ends, Rosario Dawson is back, and she’s one of the prison guards this time, and she wears tight clothes that show off that she has a new person in her uterus, and she acts really urban when she is beating up prisoners. After she does this, she goes up and does kissing on Shia, because remember, everything in the Death Prison is crazy and backwards this time.
Shia and Christian have tattoos of each other’s names on their shoulders.
There are lots of fights, and a car chase, and the Army gets involved, and then Christian washes the motto off the wall. Everyone learns their lesson about being dead, because they are dead, except Bruce’s wife, who drives away in an angry Mustang, and it’s a cartoon Mustang. The wife is real, and she is Megan Fox, and we can see her real butt, and it has a tattoo that says DEAD.
As the credits roll, the Mustang crashes, and she yells, “Meme THIS!!” and then she dies, too. After that it’s just angry music over the credits, and they’re going sideways, and everything is spelled with extra vowels.
BRAD RADBY’S PRODUCTION NOTES
1) This was part four of my Sensitive Movie Trilogy, and I was really getting into making movies that meant art.
2) Keanu was supposed to be in this like the rumors said, but it didn’t happen because I wanted him to come to my space church and he didn’t want to.
3) One day I didn’t show up and went and made an airplane ride commercial, and that was the day nobody yelled cut all day. Nice job Barky. wtf
4) Everyone thought I needed to go back to my special creek with the nurses, but I wasn’t doing doobies, I was just being really deep with art and memes. :(
5) Like this whole movie is one big meme and it meant no more honkies or frontin’.