Directed by: Brad Radby
Starring: George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Morgan Freeman, Seth Rogen, Colin Farrell, Shia LaBeouf, Danny Glover, Adrian Brody, Ken Watanabe, 50 Cent, George Lopez, Lou Ferrigno, John Cleese
Critics Average: 4.5/5 Stars
Box Office (US): $307M
BRAD RADBY’S SYNOPSIS
At the start of the movie, there are words about the first movie, which was 12 Angry Men, and it’s about how the 12 angry men were all in court together and they got mad about being on the jury. Then there’s an explosion and a bus that crashes though the words, and all the men are on it, and they’re on the way to their houses from court.
The bus is going fast, and the brakes are broken, and the driver, who is Seth Rogen, is being funny about how he shouldn’t have smoked that doobie. The main jury guy, who is George Clooney, tells Seth to drive into the ocean so nobody gets hurt, and there are people screaming everywhere when it happens.
The other main jury guy, who is Russell Crowe, is just worried about getting home for dinner, only he calls it supper, and he thinks George’s plan might keep him from getting his tummy full with food.
George’s plan works and no non-bus riders die, but now the bus is sinking, and Russell is like to George, “Got any more bright ideas, mate?” That’s when the main credits go by in the water, and they’re wavy and special effecty.
Then it really gets going, because they are sitting in the bottom of the ocean in the bus, and that’s a problem, and everyone’s racism and friendship differences are beginning to happen. Up outside the ocean, the paparazzi is going crazy because some people say save the 13 men, but the other people say let them die, because their wild bus already caused enough problems!
Below, all the ocean dangers are coming closer, and people are getting hungry, so the Irish jury guy, who is Colin Farrell, goes to hunt a fish, but an octopus crashes him into the big coral reef, and you hear him go, “BOOLLLLLLLLuuuuuckkkkksss maaaaate…glub…gluuuuubbb…” and that’s in slow motion because he’s dying.
That’s when the leaks on the bus start, and the Mexican jury guy, who is George Lopez, says something funny about not being a watery people. The British guy, who is John Cleese, can’t believe how raw and savage the Americans are! Oy!
The bus has a blue stripe on the side.
So then the Army gets involved, and they’re ready to shoot the missile that will end the underwater bus crisis, and when it hits, everyone will know the meme happened. George comes up with a way to make them float to the surface, but one of the guys has to become a dead person to do it, and Russell says he will be that guy, because he has grown as a person and also because he can’t stand to not be having supper for another minute.
It works, and the bus comes out, and people hug the angry men and give them towels and thanks for being inspiring, and the guys learned that maybe being different doesn’t have to mean being angry. Colin and Russell look down on them with their new angel wings, and we know that Russell is sorry for calling Shia and Morgan honkies before.
The President, who is Keanu in a cameo, tells George he did a nice job being a leader, but then he does a wink-and-click, and so maybe there might be another bus movie coming up!
BRAD RADBY’S PRODUCTION NOTES
1) When Seth was being Method with his doobie, I had to leave and let Barky direct that scene.
2) That was the one that was upside-down, because I guess he yelled “BARK! BARK BARK!!” instead of “ACTION!” wtf
3) Colin was super-Method and that’s why it was lucky we shot his angel wings scene before he died fighting that octopus.
4) The part where the bus drove through those words at the start was special effects and that’s why the last words were “HERE COMES THE BUS!” because like the words knew the bus was coming.
5) Keanu wasn’t even supposed to be in this movie – he just stopped by the movie set and started doing stuff. LOL!!